Chaos

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 07:38:46 GMT

wow forgot about this

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 08:30:20 GMT

Whats up all you crazy cats out there? How is this life treating you, Is the game being fair? Haven't seen many people in a while. I do Disappear. My birthdays coming up in 5 days. I haven't been doing much just working and trying to train. I am teaching myself I am tired of wasting money on things I already know how to do. I plan on paying off my warrants, I am going to Austin Soon for the company I work for. And Oni-Con Is coming up.
>

I will talk to you Cats later.

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 17:33:16 GMT

"You had a hundred billion chances and ways to have avoided today," a snarling Cho says on video. "But you decided to spill my blood. You forced me into a corner and gave me only one option. The decision was yours. Now you have blood on your hands that will never wash off."
-cho

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 02:53:08 GMT

wide eyed sleepers
death in motion
daylight creepers
wearing all night pain
bleeding moments
spilling over
non-existing as they crawl out into a world that calls them real

sign the contract it's the final act matter of fact better take a step back
relax the show must go on no one so on and so on

as if under
mass hypnosis
the wide eyed sleepers fall into mass graves
they'll feel safer in the dirt
their own opinions won't be heard
if asked could you decide what any man is worth

sign the contract it's the final act matter of fact better take a step back
relax the show must go on no one so on and so on

could you decide?
could you decide?
could you decide?
could you decide?...

they steal it with a handshake seal it with a smile it feels like an earthquake
treats you like a child defeats you with your mistakes leaves you in denial
deceives you in the first place lied to all the while they can't see anymore
how their wide eyes have made them blind in spite of themselves

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 17:41:32 GMT

Theres nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
Theres nothing in between
You know the truth

Nothing left to face
Theres nothing left to lose
Nothing takes your place

When they say
Youre not that strong
Youre not that weak
Its not your fault
And when you climb up to your hill
Up to your place
I hope youre well

Theres nothing left to prove
Theres nothing I wont do
Theres nothing like the pain
I feel for you

Nothing left to hide
Nothing left to feel
I am always here

When they say
Youre not that strong
Youre not that weak
Its not your fault
And when you climb up to your hill
Up to your place
I hope youre well

What you want
What you lost
What you had
What is gone is over

What you got
What you love
What you need
What you have is real

Its not enough
Its not enough
Its not enough
Its not enough, Im sorry

Its not enough
Its not enough
Its not enough
Its not enough...

When they say
Youre not that strong
Youre not that weak
Its not your fault
And when you climb up to your hill
Up to your place
I hope youre well

Its not enough
No
Its not enough
Its not enough

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 06:10:48 GMT

the pain enhances the misery swells
im screamin' ya name from a mountain in hell
im so lonely the grounds above me
it seems as if no one cares to love me
maybe im crazy, addicted to pain
maybe the cocain destroyed my brain
private conversations with kurt cobain
im drownin' my fears in the acid rain

numonic intentions take ova your mind
like leaping from a building for the 50th time
stay away from drugs little boys and girls
unless u wanna live in the under world
(the under world the under world unless u wanna live in the under world)

the sun goes down as the darkness prevails
loss of conversation with jazzabell
shes so high always treatin' her nose
her blood runs black when her cycle flows
maybe im psyched out for lettin' her down
knowin' she done been with every man in town
maybe im hellbound for living insane
im drowning my pain in the acid rain

numonic intentions take ova your mind
like leaping from a building for the 50th time
stay away from drugs little boys and girls
unless u wanna live in the under world
(the under world the under world unless u wanna live in the under world)

All of the heartaches and all of the pain
all of the tear drops from acid rain
one drop gone cuz they think im insane
its all in my mind with the use of cocaine
like drinkin prefusily and flying a plane
so intoxicated i cant stay in my lane
private conversations with kurt cobain
drownin' my fears in the acid rain

Life

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 21:33:08 GMT

Life's a fucked up place, and all I know is what was taught to me as a kid. Nothing is free in life, even if it's given to you, you'll have to pay it back one way or another. You will hear the same thing over and over again, even daily. With nothing to do about it. You'll have to either sit and deal with it, or try your best to walk away. I don't understand why people cant just leave shit in the past in the past. And why our child hoods couldn't be the best. My brother told me his dream for his life. It is to take my brother and myself away from this place and just have fun, never grow up since we didn't have a childhood, I love him to death, but we have our times. Just mines been going on for most my life.

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 07:01:13 GMT

From all my friends on livejournal, I need the following. Your name(fullname) date of birth, eye color, haircolor (all natural) a small profile of yourself (anything from the things you like, where you work, what you do for fun. number and religion.

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 03:36:17 GMT

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 06:03:57 GMT

So I think I have Pneumonia, I have been sick for about a month now, and now my lungs hurt when I drink and breathe.

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 14:33:11 GMT

Alone inside my mind
across the room I catch your eye
then you wander in my direction
my left you sit beside
so hot you make me want to hide
hide from my own fragile torture

I can feel you now
I can taste it now
Overcome that I'm your temptation
I never dreamed it true
I can feel you now
I can taste it now
Overcome that I'm your temptation
I'm crushed
With just the thought that I made you blush

The lust inside I cry
Without the tears running down my eyes
On your knees you beg for weakness
Temptaion close at hand
Falling for you I didn't plan
Pleasure seekers taking over

I can feel you now
I can taste it now
Overcome that I'm your temptation
I never dreamed it true
I can feel you now
I can taste it now
Overcome that I'm your temptation
I'm crushed
With just the thought that I made you blush

I'm crushed enoughto make it bleed
with just the thought that I made you blush
I'm crushed enough I'm on my knees
with just the thought that I made you blush
I'm crushed enough to raze in all
with just the thought that I made you blush
I'm crushed enough for me to fall
with just the thought that I made you blush

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 18:42:21 GMT

I wish I stayed hom lastnight.

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 05:40:57 GMT

Words come easy
Behind a screen
When there's no interface to face
To be seen

King of Insects
You eat your own
Atop an anthill
You call your throne

Kingdom of one
So unaware
As one-by-one your subjects
Vanish into air

Chatter to the wind
Make your decree
And save your venom
For the ones who disagree

Your castle walls are falling
Your body's frail
Your window on the world
Is minuscule in scale

Burrow deep now
Escape the light
Heaven forbid you have to face
The ones you slight

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 18:41:39 GMT

Life is a bunch of bull-shit. I am caring less and less everyday, I wake up, Look at the sky, see out my window, walk the first few steps out of bed. Its nothing to me but a game. I dont care if I win or loose, either way you will meet the "Game Over" at the end. I want to fade out gracefully, but I am still alive to face another day. I have no money, if I loose my house oh well. If I dont eat I wont mind, its just a quicker way to end this game. I dont want to play anymore, my hands hurt, my eyes burn, my head is spinning. Why cant god tell when to kill things, does he enjoy watching people suffer? I think he does, thats what turns him on, thats what makes him god, nothing else.

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 17:24:37 GMT

So, I have work in an hour, I am tired very tired. I want to lay down in my bed all day. But its not possible. I cant call in sick either. I am waiting for my paycheck, I am waiting to have money, I wont spend any of it, only 300 bucks for rent the rest I am saving. I am tired of being behind in money. Because I am being a dumb ass.

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 06:09:38 GMT

You sink your teeth in bite the blood that drains the life inside of me
and fills your soul with love and hate and all those things you need to breathe.
My body dies but still my soul remains eternally in search of
Caspian waves and shallow graves explain why me?
I watched the sky bleed grey with see through shades of violent bloody stains
and felt the evil prime and wicked start a course straight through my veins.
I'm so alive, my skin so cold and fake I close my eyes
I know that now's the time to take my chance with death and realize.
So mute and beautiful to me a promise kept on high,
an angelic look at life through open eyes.
(Sunrise) I will avenge (Sunset) I can't pretend,
and fills your soul with love and hate and all those things you need to breathe.
(Sunrise) I will avenge (Sunset) I can't pretend,
my soul remains eternally in search of
Caspian waves and shallow graves explain why
Sunrise) I will avenge (Sunset) I can't pretend,
(Sunrise) I wont forget this vein (Sunset) attempt and promise kept,
just one more night to make up for the loss of love
and time here comes the sun to rid this world of see through blood and swollen light.
Sunrise, sunset
The last sunrise
The last sunrise
The last sunrise
The last sunrise
(Sunrise) I will avenge (Sunset) I can't pretend,
and fills your soul with love and hate and all those things you need to breathe.
(Sunrise) I will avenge (Sunset) I can't pretend,
eternally in search of Caspian waves and shallow graves explain why

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 05:34:35 GMT

So I went to Oni Con, thank you Freddy, Jesus, John, Gus, and everyone else who was there, it was a great night.

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 21:49:39 GMT

Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear
Sealed with lies through so many tears
Lost from within, pursuing the end
I fight for the chance to be lied to again

You will never be strong enough
You will never be good enough
You were never conceived in love
You will not rise above

[Chorus:]
They'll never see
I'll never be
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me

But through my tears breaks a blinding light
Birthing a dawn to this endless night
Arms outstretched, awaiting me
An open embrace upon a bleeding tree

Rest in me and I'll comfort you
I have lived and I died for you
Abide in me and I vow to you
I will never forsake you

[Chorus]
[Chorus]

Rest in me and I'll comfort you
I have lived and I died for you
Abide in me and I vow to you
I will never forsake you

[Chorus]

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 16:13:58 GMT

So,I have thought about it and I have come to. If I dont keep this job for atleast 8 months I am going to travel... Get a job like a friends of mine's dad, who works on ships repairing things and travel the sea's. I want to see new things.

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 17:28:08 GMT

One more time and you'll be dead
At least I think that's what they said
Forty days won't break a man
It was a bullet in his head
There's something in the...
Something in the way you were
The pain so wrong my friend
Revolution...revolution man
Imagine all the people

One more time and you'll be dead
At least I think that's what they said
Forty days won't break a man
It was a bullet in his head

Listen while I load my gun
He said to me
Something 'bout a chosen one
It's comin' back to me
Watch him while I taste the sun
He said to me
Something 'bout a chosen one
You'll never be

One last time your medicine
Swallow hard and take it in
Lucy's in the sky again
Trippin' on her diamonds

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 06:58:40 GMT

So, life is slowing down, I dont know whats going on, winter is finely coming. And Its about damn time. I am sick of the heat, I am a winter kind of s-co-path. Truly it just takes the smell out of dead bodies, and rottening flesh. But What do I know? Blood doesnt look red in the dark it looks black, the heat brigns out the smell, and bodies dont float if they are in cold water.

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 04:42:14 GMT

Only me
Don't know the light from darkness
Only me
Don't have the right to get it or forget it

Only you
To clarify the conflict
Only you
Will never ever upset it or regret it

I'm not anyone for you
Not anyone for me
Knot
Anyone for you

To clarify the conflict
Will never ever upset it
Will never ever regret it
Or upset it
Don't know the light from darkness
Don't have the right to get it
Don't have the right to forget it
Or forget it

I'm not anyone for you
Not anyone for me
Knot
Anyone for you

Me, only me

Sun, 08 Oct 2006 18:03:38 GMT

May be going to Michigan soon, I need to finish some unfinished business.

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 13:36:59 GMT

May be getting a 97 cavy.

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 15:17:30 GMT

The darkness is calling me, I cant control these feelings, the darkness is calling me, I cant control these feelings, the darkness is calling me, some times I feel like im going to explode. Im slipping into the darkness, give me the strength to carry on.